Stay a kid, just a little while longer

A lot of people have these pre-conceived ideas about what these kids are like. Young, Bronx kids of the "darker" persuasion. I'll tell you what these kids are. They are little children. Forget the tough talk, forget the swagger... they are children. Period.

It's a sad fact, teachers in New York City get burned out FAST. And there's a legitimate reason for that. We are not just teaching these kids. We're raising them. We have to be everything their parents are not.

Not to say some kids don't come from "normal" homes... loving parents, one parent, two parents, grandparent, aunt, uncle, whatever. (I said "normal," not "traditional") A good number of them do get what they need at home. But sadly, most do not... so we become "foster parents" to nearly 150 kids.

When I first moved to Maine, I worked as a paraprofessional in a satellite program of a treatment facility. These kids basically had emotional issues or behavior issues. While education was a priority, the number ONE priority was their treatment. If education had to take a back seat for them to therapeutically work through their problems, then that's what happened - and it happened in both "bad" and "good" times.

An example of a "bad" time would be when a student acted out, he would have to be removed from the classroom (sometimes physically) and his behaviors dealt with. I say "he" because in my three years of working there, we only had ONE girl, and that was the last few months of the last year I worked there.

An example of a "good" time would be the time the teacher, M., was teaching class and had a spastic fit with a football that belonged to one of the boys. In a matter of moments, M. picked up the ball, started hooting, whipped the boys into a frenzy and then ran them all out to play an impromptu game of football. The room was suddenly quiet and there I was... sitting at my desk, wondering what the hell just happened.

But I soon figured out what happened. M. felt that the guys needed a break (and maybe he did too.) But the treatment is where it's at. On a higher level, what I realized is that M. and myself, two big kids at heart, were exactly what these 12-13 year-old-boys needed. M. was the athletic kid, I was the comic/geeky kid. Our child-like (or childish depending on which co-worker you asked) behavior was exactly what they needed... it allowed them to remain boys - to remain children - for just a little while longer.
I apply this thinking to my kids now, although it is harder to remain a child on the tough streets of the Bronx... They crave attention. They want to be told they are good. They want stickers and treats. They want to be trusted. They want to please. I tell them, "I don't care what you are outside of my room, but when you come through the door, leave that person out there." Nearly all of them do.