Glam

I have a TON of grading today... and I just made comments on all the blogs I am trying to get my kids to write.

Such is the exciting life of the high school teacher - glamor, glitz, fame and fortune - I know how to spell all of those words.

Is it worth it? When I hear my students complaining at how boring my class is... how stupid the books are... how I am "beastin' " and "wack," well... I get a sort of warm and fuzzy feeling inside. I know I made the right decision to work with adolescents.

Dear God,

The day before Thanksgiving was great.

I took my first field trip as a teacher. And it was a great one.

In my two junior classes we are reading The Color Purple. As luck would have it, about a half hour down the road in this little town the Indians call Manhattan, The Color Purple is playing at the Broadway theater. (One block away from Letterman.)

I was a wreck. Taking the subway from school, letting the kids have lunch on their own in Manhattan. "We get to roam around the city on our own???" one astute young man asked. I almost had a heart attack. Because in essence, that was exactly what it was.

At one point, I asked, "who's nervous?" Of course none copped to it. I said, "Well I'm not going to lie, I am."

But it was good for them. They need practice being responsible. They needed to be back to the theater at 1:30 pm for a 2:00 show and they were all on time.

So they snuck in roasted peanuts and a large Jamba Juice. (You'd be surprised what the inside coat pocket can hold.) They were all well behaved, quiet, appropriate and I was SO PROUD of them, I'd take them on another trip in a heartbeat.

The play was OK. I actually liked the movie better... they play was slick. Good music... but didn't really capture the emotions that the film did. (Or the book obviously.) But not a bad play if you're in NYC and looking for something to see.

56%

There is an article in last week's Daily News, Stanley Crouch's "What Barak Obama Isn't: Black Like Me."

Pretty interesting stuff, especially to me. In my school I am witness to some of the worst, ugliest racism ever. When I think of racism, I think about some southern cracker being nasty to some poor person of color. Nope... not at my school.

This racism comes in the form of, say, one young man of color ridiculing another young man of color. It is absolutely surreal.

The majority of my school is "black." According to the NYCDOE website, the breakdown of my school is as follows: 56% Black, 39% Hispanic, 1.83% Asian, 1.19% White. So what would traditionally be "other" is more than the white population of my school.

But the term "black" is where those similarities end. The majority of our students are Jamaican. We have some African and then we have regular, "American" black. "Yankees" they are called. I feel sorry for that one new teacher, you know the one... young, well meaning, young, politically correct, young... who called the students of my school "African American."

"Miss, I'm not no African... or American."

Seriously, just say black... you'll be more right than you know.

But when I heard one kid ripping into another one because he was African, it really made me think how nutty these kids are. Here they are, part of that 56% of the school bickering with each other and I don't know if they realize what they are viewed as by others... by the "real world." They are all lumped into that 56% regardless of what continent or island they hail from.

I realize my posts are sporadic at best... but I'm in the middle of writing my thesis for my masters AND I'm coaching JV football, so my time is seriously in short supply. About my JV team... I am so proud of my boys. We are kicking major ass this year and they are such a great bunch of kids. I'll post some pictures when I find some good ones.

Also, in a piece of good news, our next contract was agreed upon QUITE early. Last time we were out of contract for a number of months. This time, they decided on a contract early and its really not so bad. Decent raises and no givebacks. Good work UFT!

http://www.uft.org/news/contract_2006/

State of Black America

MindSpace

I frequently read Jameil's blog, specifically her continuing "State of Black America" series. Her latest one was on education.

Now here's where I weigh in.

Sadly, these kids are failing (and we are failing them) because of a vicious circle that just can't be stopped. Their parents are either helpless or don't care, and it's a sad fact, teachers in New York City get burned out FAST. And there's a legitimate reason for that. We are not just teaching these kids. We're raising them. For a good number of kids, we have to be everything their parents are not.

Another thing is segregation is alive and well thank you very much.

As my father says, "It's the Lambs vs. the Wolves."

In NYC there are probably five to seven or so “specialized” high schools. These schools are where you want to go when you DON'T WANT to go to my school. Bronx High School of Science is the “best” and most well known. Brooklyn Tech and Stuyvesant are two other schools.

Last summer I worked in a program to help kids prepare for the test to get them into these "specialized" schools. There were PLENTY of white faces. Also plenty of Black, Spanish and Asian faces as well. Will they ALL get into these schools? No. But the attitude, sadly, is when Johnny's parents find out he didn't get into Bronx Science, guess where he gets sent? Yep... Catholic school. That goes for the ALL the kids... White, Black, Spanish and Asian, they'll get sent to private school. Simply put, their parents do not want their "Lambs" going to school with the "wolves." The skin color doesn't matter... The color GREEN matters.

One of the best talks I had was with a fellow teacher, Ms. Gabby, who gave me the brutally honest words to use to my kids - words that I didn't want to hear myself, but I'm glad I head them. And I did tell them. And my class was never quieter.

She told me to tell them:

"White America does not care about you. Westchester, New Jersey, Connecticut, Upstate... they just do not care what happens to you. Although I can only help you so much, there is only one person who is going to help you claw your way out of here. And that is you. You can not rely on the help of others, because it will not be there."

I sat and listened to her and thought, can I really tell them this? It's so brutally honest. But I did. And I think my kids got it. They know I wouldn't be here if I didn't care about them. In a way I see myself in them... alot of them come from my old neighborhood. When I tell them where I grew up, they say, "Mister... that's THE HOOD." Welllllll...it was an all Italian neighborhood when I grew up, but I won't tell THEM that. "Hell's yes," I say. And we now have a connection.

It's almost the last day. September will be here soon enough, there will be a whole new crop of 22-year-olds from Ohio or Kansas or whatnot who will be teaching alongside of me. They know they're going to be teachers right now, and they're probably crapping their pants. Good. Hopefully they will make it.

I'm excited about where my school is headed. For the past few years, my principal has been refurbishing my school to make it more desirable. She wants kids to WANT to come here rather than it be a school that you HAVE to go because you couldn't get into the school you want. Hopefully that will attract more kids whose families value education - regardless of color.

Not Enough Time

So today was the last day of class. We have testing next week and our last official day is June 28.
Damn that's like 3 weeks away.

So I gave my kids the little "we had a great year" speech, they didn't really feel like hearing it. But it's still my class, so tough shit.

I thanked my freshmen. I know they were bummed to have their teacher leave at the end of the year, but I think we made the best of it.

I thanked my sophomores. I've made the statement that kids don't become human again until the 11th grade. And I believe that's true. The odd thing, today, I saw my sophomores becoming human right before my eyes. They were mellow, they were polite. Even though it was the last day of class, they were appropriate. I am excited to see the adults they will become.

I thanked my seniors. I told them, this was the class I look forward to every day. Aside from being my last class of the day, these guys were just the best. Friendly, funny, polite, not obnoxious... they were a joy to work with. They knew they were out of there, so they did everything they needed to do to get out. But they GOT IT. They knew life is a game, and they are willing to play. I know they will do well.

The big difference betweeen this year and last year is that last year, I was done by the end of May. The end couldn't come fast enough. It was torture, I had to keep handing out busywork to stretch the time.

This year, I didn't have ENOUGH time. The kids had a weird day off last week and we had a "training day." Normally I'm all about having an adult day - a day without kids. But this time I thought, "God, I could be doing more with my kids to prepare them for their exams."

I'm looking forward to the summer.

I'm looking forward to next year.

I'm looking forward to a summer with my peers and relaxing and without kids...

But... at the same time... I will miss them all.

The difference

Recently I took over two 9th grade classes - they killed my late afternoon classes, so it's not as bad as it sounds.

What amazes me is that these kids in the 9th grade are truly kids. They are children in the most accurate sense. They are innocent and unknowing and unfortunately, they are going to "grow up" quickly.

There's a big difference between 14... (freshmen) and 18 (seniors.)

The worst part are the kids who have "grown" up by now. I have a few girls who already have kids... at 14/15 years old. You hear about kids having kids, but when you meet them, it's just heartbreaking.

One of my sophomores is pregnant (15) and she is all excited about having a baby, having a shower, etc. And to set the record straight, the "baby daddy" (a junior) brings my student food EVERY day. EVERY DAY. And to top it off... she makes FUN of the food he brings - as she's eating it of course! He sees her to class and gets her after class. The funniest part is he shakes my hand when I'm in the hall, like I'm her father or something. It's so strange.

Writely

Here's the way of the future. I am writing this on Writely.

I am so excited about this... here's why.

My department got one of those laptop carts. So we have 35 laptops but my boss decided to keep them in a room - hence the "Wireless Lab" was born.

So we have 35 new laptops... a wireless internet connection... and that's it. So if 30 of my kids write 30 word documents... what is a teacher to do? I can't even have them put it on a disk, because these new computers don't have disk drives anymore. This makes life with computers, (which is supposed to be freeing...) extremely limiting.





Enter Writely. Writely is an online word processor. And (right now and hopefully forever) it is free. I can have kids write, collaborate and print and save etc. So they don't always have to go on the same computer, they can work from home, etc.

Thank you Writely. Please don't change. My kids in the Bronx need it.

Memorable Memorial Day

So this weekend I went back to Maine. Back to the place where I spent nearly every childhood growing up. I miss it.

Sometimes I wish I could bring my kids to Maine to show them what another life is like. I know I've said it before, but kids in the Bronx just as sheltered as any suburban kid.

This shot is down the road from my family's house. It's a road that leads into the water if you want to launch a boat. I spent many a day swimming there (when the tide was in, obviously.) The water was freezing.



This shot is the spring that is right up that same road. It spews delicious fresh water all day every day. Poland Spring ain't got nothing on us. At one point when I was younger, our shower was non-existant... so we used to have to shower here after swimming. Once again, the water was freezing.

The Budget won't Budge

All the faculty of my school got this email yesterday:

"Due to budgetary limitations, all per session activities with the exception of PSAL (meaning sports) and tutoring must cease immediately. Thank you for your cooperation."

Ouch. That means no more after-school activities for the rest of the school year. Actually, that means we won't get paid, but will these activities cease? Some will... but most will probably not. That's what teachers are all about, usually.
There are just insanely dedicated people and they wouldn't let something as petty as money stop activities right as the year is about to end.

The thing that sucks is I know some people whose activities that are dormant during the year but begin to heat up right about now... they are screwed.

As dad says..."That's New York City for ya..."

The Struggle

This year has been a bear.

You know, I planned on writing more often than I have. Yeah, I know the last time I wrote was in October.

But... if you thought your first year teaching was hard, your second is even harder. Well, it's not so much that it's hard, but this time there isn't that exhilaration fueling you. Instead of just coffee.

After the first year, it's just the grind.

Add to that, I just finished taking 3 classes on top of working full time. Man, that sucked.

But this year is almost over. The kids were pretty good, overall.

At the end of last year, I wrote this "manifesto" of things that I wanted to work on in the classroom. I think I'm about to write another one. I feel that I kept most of my promises. There were some rough spots in terms of behavior, but I don't feel it was as bad as last year.

I've come to a conclusion. I think its a conclusion.

As an English teacher, our lessons are supposed to be "deep." That means were supposed to prepare lessons that provide the most "bang for the buck." We have these kids for 45 minutes a day. (Although with my 10th graders, i have them for 90 minutes a day... ugh.) How deep am I supposed to get?

The conclusion I have come to is that I have done my job if:

1) None of my kids killed anyone in class and
2) We finish something like, say, Othello and to my kids it didn't SUCK.

That is probably a crappy attitude, but I don't know what else to do. When the year is over, my kids can say, they know Shakespeare. (We did Julius Caesar and Othello this year.) If someone asks them, "Did you read Othello?" They can say with pride, "Yes I did. I loved the part when such and such happened..."

To further my shitty attitude, I think this is even worse... isn't that what MY high school teachers did? I don't remember crap about my HS English classes except the general stories that we read... so is that all I could hope for?